Why My Addiction To Rules Was Written In The Stars.

And why I'm going to bend some... (rules not stars that is)

I love rules. I am the person who’ll never cut a queue, cross on the red man, sample the bulk nuts at the supermarket or zip down the outside lane. Because… IT’S. JUST. NOT. RIGHT. The end.

Rules are my safe place and I have found myself feeling increasingly intolerant towards those who don’t abide by them. In fact, I’ve turned into that person who comes precariously close to rear ending the car in front, so that ‘Barbara’ … who I clocked zipping down the outside lane (that clearly runs out), in order to improve her place in the slow-moving queue of traffic cannot cut back in front of me. I’m like… “Yo… Barb, you think you’re more important than the rest of us?” (apologies to any Barbara’s reading this).

I blame my rule addiction on the stars (stay with me)… You see I recently had my natal chart done and with all due respect to the stars … I think there has been a terrible mistake, and respectfully, I would like a refund.

If the stars are to be believed, both my sun sign and south node (who I am and where I’ve come from) sit smack bang in the middle of Virgo, which is like an astrological double whammy and explains why I am the Mayor of Virgoville (not a sexy place to reside). Probably akin to the celestial equivalent of an ACT industrial estate.

Virgoans are typically described as being analytical, methodical, judgemental, perfectionistic nit pickers. “Sounds super fun,” I hear you say.

We are known for our meticulous attention to detail and unwavering commitment to protocol, and when it comes to following rules, us Virgos take them very seriously. “Virgos thrive on structure and find comfort in knowing that everything is in its rightful place. Virgos go above and beyond to ensure that they comply with every rule.”

In short, I am the opposite of a barrel of laughs.

In good news though, my north node (or celestial destiny) sits in the creative, intuitive, and artistic space of Pisces. Pisceans embrace uncertainty and are more likely to follow their intuition rather than blindly following rules. Virgo and Pisces are to astrology as Hitler and Ghandi are to politics, and it seems that the stars are playing tug-of-war with my personality. But as I am learning, there’s depth in paradox and in straddling the tension between two seemingly opposite things.

I guess I’ve always secretly felt like the real me was a bit of a contradiction between the (very dominant) pedantic control freak versus the (submissive) intuitive, eclectic creative. And it feels like it’s my inner Pisces’ time to shine!

I’ve spent a lifetime asking for permission and following all the rules that society dictated. I extrapolated my childhood commitment to ‘good’, from being a ‘good’ daughter to being a ‘good’ wife, a ‘good’ mother, and a ‘good’ friend. I lived strictly within the lines of life and I’ve unquestioningly, “done as I was told.”

But maybe being ‘good’ wasn’t the answer after all. (Dad ... If you’re reading this, don’t worry. I’m not going all “Breaking Bad” and prepping a meth lab in the garage.) I’ve just realised that the opposite of good isn’t always bad. Sometimes it’s ‘free’.

“When a woman finally learns that pleasing the world is impossible, she becomes free to learn how to please herself.” - Glennon Doyle

Ang x